


Sammyclassicsonicfan's Rant Against The Sonic Fanbase (PARODY): Rant Against The Cartoon Fanbase

by sammyclassicsonicfan, xandermartin98



Category: Internet Personalities
Genre: Gen, Insanity, Mild Language, Parody, Rants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 06:53:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2099766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammyclassicsonicfan/pseuds/sammyclassicsonicfan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xandermartin98/pseuds/xandermartin98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sammyclassicsonicfan rants about the cartoon fanbase's extreme incompetence, along with the even greater incompetence of television networks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sammyclassicsonicfan's Rant Against The Sonic Fanbase (PARODY): Rant Against The Cartoon Fanbase

OKAY, THAT IS IT! THIS IS THE FINAL STRAAAAWW!

I've had it with all you frickin trolls, and all you frickin haters, and all you frickin stupid fan-fricks! YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES THAT RUINED CARTOONS FOR EVERYONE! Can't you see that?! What the frick are you guys DOING!? Asking for all this fricking garbage?  
WHY DO WE NEED ADVENTURE TIME? WHY DO WE NEED REGULAR SHOW? WHY DO WE NEED ANOTHER SPONGEBOB MOVIE? WHY DO WE NEED A- A FANBOY & CHUM-CHUM REVIVAL?!  
WHY DO WE NEED ALL THAT?! CAN'T WE HAVE A PROPER 90s STYLE CARTOON SERIES, FOR CRYING OUT FRICKING LOUD?! You guys killed the Rocko series! All you frickin' FAN FRICKS, and your FRICKING FANTASIES SPEWED OUT AT YOU BY FRICKING POOP MERCHANTS! I'M TIRED OF ALL YOU FRICKS!  
I'M SO FRICKING MAD, AND I'M...So fricking mad! I mean, you guys, YOU GUYS, HAVE OFFICIALLY MADE ME LOSE MY MARBLES!! WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS JUST ASK FOR A PROPER 90s STYLE CARTOON SERIES?! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!  
[Sammy throws a chair against the wall]

I'm sure NO Rocko fan predict- would predict that...the ADVENTURE..the Adventure Time fantasizers would RUIN EVERYTHING! And now I bet by now CA- CARTOON NETWORK has got a frickin' PROBLEM SOLVERZ movie in development. With frickin' PAPER RAD! 'cause you FRICKIN' FRICKS just CAN'T EVER BE QUENCHED.  
YOUR A- YOUR MY LITTLE PONY FANTASIES CAN NEVER BE QUENCHED, CAN THEY? YOU FRICKING FRICKS!'  
When will you learn, WHEN WILL YOU LEARN, THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?! YOU GUYS KEEP ON ASKING FOR AN ADVENTURE TIME MOVIE! AND YOU'RE RUINING THE CARTOON WORLD, HAS IT ALREADY SUFFERED ENOUGH?!  
AND IT'S STILL SUFFERING! WHAT THE FRICK?! PARENTS JUST CAN'T HANDLE...ROCKO IN THE MODERN WORLD, CAN THEY? ALL CAUSE, WE HAVE TO HAVE THINGS CENSORED! WE HAVE TO HAVE THE BEST JOKES TREATED AS THE WORST! WE HAVE TO HAVE...WE HAVE TO HAVE THREE SLIGHTLY INCOMPLETE EPISODES, DON'T WE?! ANOTHER HALF-ASSED DVD SET!!!  
HUUUAAAAAAAGAAAHHHGH! [incoherent squealing while Sammy flails his arms around and jumps up and down]

YOU FRICKIN' FRICKS! I'VE HAD IT, I'VE FRICKIN' HAD IT! YOU GUYS HAVE OFFICIALLY RUINED EVERYTHING! YOU'VE RUINED THE SPONGEBOB SERIES, THE ROCKO SERIES IS DEAD, 'CAUSE OF THE SPONGEBOB FANBASE!  
I WILL FOREVER HATE THE SPONGEBOB FANBASE, THEY RUINED EVERYTHING!

[Sammy kicks his closet door repeatedly]

RUINED...EVERYTHING!

[Sammy slams a basket against the ground]

I HATE THE SPONGEBOB FANBASE. I... HATE THEM!

[Sammy slams the basket against the ground again]

[deep breathing from four minutes of screaming] Why's the Spongebob fanbase have to BE LIKE THIS? Oh- Why does the cartoon fanbase have to be so numb-skulled?! Can't you guys FRICKIN' ACCEPT, THAT WE NEED A PROPER GOLDEN-AGE STYLE CARTOON SERIES?! HOLY FRICKIN' FRICKS!!!  
HOLY FRICKING FRICKS! Why can't we have UNCUT ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE DVD SETS?! Is that so hard to ask? Why can't we have a Futurama sequel? Or, uh...a Futurama prequel?!  
Or, uh...even a new South Park movie? WHY CAN'T WE HAVE THAT?!  
[Sammy kicks closet door again]

WHY DO WE NEED, AN ADVENTURE TIME MOVIE?! WHY DO WE NEED THAT? WHY? TELL ME?

TELLL MEEE! TELLL ME NOWWWWW! [Sammy growls like an animal] CURSE YOU STUPID... FRICKS! You guys RUINED it! You ruined it with your fricking fantasies, your ADVENTURE TIME FANTASIES. "Oh yeah, let's see. GIVE US more Adventure Time. GIVE US more Regular Show. Give us more bland and humorless jokes. THAT'S WHAT COMEDY'S ALL ABOUT, HUH?"  
"RIGHT! RIGHT DISNEY CHANNEL, RIGHT! GIVE US... FRICKIN'... MORE HANNAH MONTANA CLONES, YEAH, WE NEED MORE OF THOSE!" *Sammy kicks wall*  
"As if this sitcom wasn't enough, or THAT sitcom! Oh, oh! While you're at it...While you're at it, why not frickin' give us more LIVE ACTION SUCKFESTS?" WE ALL NEED THAT HUH? WE ALL NEED THAT?  
WE DON'T NEED CLASSIC SATIRE, RIGHT? WRONG!!!

Why do you guys have to ruin it with your fantasies? Why does it have to be like this?! I mean, for MONTHS, I've been giving everyone my ideas of a cartoon sitcom... in the style of Rocko's Modern Life, which... is personally the BEST NICKELODEON SHOW!  
Okay? I mean NICKELODEON NEVER ACKNOWLEDGES Rocko's Modern Life, it makes me so mad! I mean, why doesn't that show get attention, even Ren & Stimpy does! This makes me so frickin' mad. YOU STUPID... FANS HAD TO RUIN EVERYTHING WITH YOUR ADVENTURE TIME FANTASIES!  
Holy frick! "Oh, give us more Adventure Time! Give us more Regular Show! Give us more washed-up new episodes of The Simpsons! Give us more Problem Solverz! Problem Solverz revival!  
Yeah! Give us more trash!" YOU GUYS ARE ALREADY ASKING FOR MORE TRASH! "Oh, frick Futurama, give us more Adventure Time!" NOOOOOO!!!  
YOU FRICKIN' FRICKS! YOU GUYS HAD TO RUIN IT! YOU GUYS HAD TO RUIN IT! WHY? WHY WHY? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS? [Sammy coughs from screaming]  
Why does it have to BE LIKE THIS? [Sammy kicks the wall again]  
Why... why? WHY? WHY? You- You stupid fans! The Adventure Time fanbase is just getting me frickin' WORKED UP!  
[Sammy kicks the wall yet again]

All 'cause, they can't give us something actually ACCEPTABLE! JUST WHAT THE FRICK, oh what the frick? This makes me so mad! You guys ruined everything with your Adventure Time fantasies! YOU GUYS ARE FRICKIN' IDIOTS! [Sammy begins stuttering]  
[Sammy begins throwing various Wii U and other games at his closet door]

WHY'D YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING?! WHY? WHY?! JUST WHY? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS?  
[Sammy throws some plushies on the ground]

I'm tired of this! I'm tired of this! The CARTOON UNIVERSE IS RUINED THANKS TO YOU GUYS! You frickin' fricks! Holy frick, why's it have to be this way? [Sammy growls like an animal again]  
I HATE THE SPONGEBOB FANBASE, NICKELODEON IS RUINED! WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS LAUNCH A REBUTTAL AGAINST TELEVISION, TO HELP US BRING BACK THE TRUE CLASSICS?  
WHY'S IT HAVE TO BE THIS HARD?!

[Sammy stomps his foot]

You... frickin'...FRIIIICKS!  
[Sammy throws one last plushie at the ground]

Frickin... Fricks! Frickin... FRICKS!  
[Sammy hits his pillow repeatedly, then knocks over his camera with it]

[Scene cuts to Sonic art with Sammy's voice in the background]

AND LIKE I WAS SAYING EARLIER, NICKELODEON NEVER ACKNOWLEDGES ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE! WHAT THE FRICK? WHY CAN'T THEY EVER FRICKIN' ACKNOWLEDGE THAT SHOW? THEY NEVER FRICKIN' GIVE IT THE LOVE IT DESERVES! YOU ALWAYS SEE THEM IDOLIZING FRICKIN' SPONGEBOB AND REN & STIMPY! It's NEVER ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE! WHAT THE FRICK?  
If we just tried to make a brilliant show like Rocko's Modern Life, I bet that could rejuvenate the cartoon landscape! You frickin' fricks say "oohhh, Rocko's excellence can't be matched." IT CAN BE FRICKIN' SURPASSED, IF HUMANITY WOULD JUST FRICKIN' COOPERATE AND FRICKIN' GROW SOME BALLS! Holy frickin' fricks!  
What the frick is wrong with you guys? Why's it have to be like this? Why can't you guys ASK FOR SOMETHING WORTHWHILE?! WHY'S IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS...Uhh, HOLY FRICK I HATE ALL YOU FRICKIN' FAN FRICKS! And like I said, it's always Spongebob and Ren & Stimpy! Those shows always get acknowledged, it's never Rocko's Modern Life, that's the best Nickelodeon classic!  
Holy frickin' fricks, it's not Invader Zim, it's not- it's- it's not Fanboy & Chum-Chum like some of you say, it's not Fanboy & Chum-Chum! You frickin fricks come to my channel and say "Ooohh, Fanboy & Chum-Chum is the best Nickelodeon show!" I know it's just you frickin' trolls, tryin' to frickin'...tryin' to frickin'....tryin' to frickin'...mess with me! What the frick! What the frick, y-you frickin' trolls just need to GET OFF MY CHANNEL RIGHT NOW!  
You frickin' fricks, I hate all of you, why's it have to be like... this? Why can't you guys just frickin'...Why can't you guys just frickin' be good people? And...the Spongebob fanbase. CURSE THE SPONGEBOB FANBASE! YOU GUYS ARE ONES THAT RUINED THE SERIES, YOU RUINED THIS ENTIRE SERIES. Holy frickin' fricks!  
And guess what? You frickin' fricks...okay...you know what...Avatar is doing much better right now! I mean, when fans requested...when fans requested a sequel series to Avatar, NICKELODEON FRICKIN' DID IT! Why can't Cartoon Network be the same? I thought that when Symbionic Titan was announced, it was going to stay on Cartoon Network. But guess what? Instead, we get...The Problem Solverz!  
Okay, I'm sorry...I'm sorrry...that...Okay, I actually don't hate The Problem Solverz THAT much. I'm sorry. I'm just getting worked up 'cause of you frickin' Rocko haters! Holy frickin' fricks!  
I mean, this makes me SO MAD!' You frickin' fricks just ruined everything with your frickin' Adventure Time fantasies, YOUR FRICKIN' ADVENT- [Sammy breaks down in tears]  
YOU FRICKIN' FRICKS RUINED EVERYTHING! [sob] YOU FRICKIN' ADVENTURE TIME FANTASIES! [sob] WE CAN'T GET A FANBOY & CHUM-CHUM REVIVAL YOU IDIOTS! 'CAUSE THAT WAS WHAT KILLED NICKELODEON IN THE FIRST PLA- [sob]  
YOU FRICKIN' FRICKS! YOU GUYS HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING! I HATE YOU FRICKIN' TROLLS, FRICK YOUUU!  
[scene switches to Sammy on the floor, in tears and with a blanket on him]

Please, cartoon fans, I beg of you! PLEASE STOP SUPPORTING ADVENTURE TIME! And support my idea... of a full revival of the 90s classics! PLEASE! Please...please!  
All Rocko fans out there, we can assemble... and heal Rocko for good! WE DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THESE ADVENTURE TIME FANTASIZER-ZERS! THESE FRICKIN' FAN FRICKS, WE DON'T HAVE TO FRICKIN' LISTEN TO THEM! Please cartoon fans please!  
[Sammy writhes around on floor]

STOP SUPPORTING ADVENTURE TIME, STOP RUINING CARTOONS! YOU FRICKIN' FAN FRICKS RUINED ANIMATION!

[Sammy writhes around again]

FRICK, FRICK, AHHH FRICK! [Sammy hits his foot and holds it in pain] FRICK! FRICK FRICK! THIS IS FRICKIN' STUPID! GRRR CURSE YOUUUU! CURSE YOU CARTOON FANBASE!


End file.
